Yours and Mine
by stay-stark
Summary: 5x14 Dean finds himself less than well-fed when it's time to deal with Famine. And it seems Castiel is the only one who can help. Well - him, and a trip to the nearby pharmacy. Destiel, one-shot.


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Castiel gave another grunt as he dug his teeth into his hamburger, effectively distracting Dean from his spot on the motel bed. Dean peered over to where Cas sat, watching as Cas chewed the bite he had taken. He seemed to be lost in his own ecstasy, with his eyes closed and his head arched just slightly back.

Swallowing thickly, Dean turned look at Sam, who seemed oblivious to his struggle because he was too concentrated on his own.

Dean couldn't help but momentarily wonder how Sam let himself get addicted to something so bad. Even after Sam had explained how he became to trust Ruby and that the demon's blood was making him stronger and that it was all for the good of things - to save people - Dean didn't know if he would ever truly understand. And now with Famine in town, it wouldn't be until after everything was alright that Dean would ever forgive him if something were to go awry.

"You guys just need to go ahead without me," Sam suddenly says, breaking through the sounds of Cas eating.

Under "normal" circumstances, Dean would've argued that they needed him. But this wasn't normal. Giving a sigh, Dean says, "You're right."

"I am?" Sam replies, sounding slightly astonished that he swayed his older brother so easily.

"If you come, you become nothing but a liability." This point came from Cas, who only spoke out of a need to point out the obvious. Unfortunately, his mouth was full and his words muffled, and Dean's mind thought of a different kind of meat in his mouth.

It didn't take much to tie Sam up and get ready to find Famine. It was while the two were in the car that things became difficult; too difficult.

"Cas," Dean addressed, restraining every part of himself, "I have to tell you something."

Cas gave a loud gulp as he forced down the piece of burger in mouth and he turned to face Dean, gazing at him innocently. He licked the corner of his lip where a bit of mayonnaise was and Dean grit his teeth. "What is it, Dean?"

"Cas," Dean ground out, closing his eyes. "I'm not as well adjusted as you think I am."

There was a pause. "What do you mean?"

Looking up at the roof of the Impala, Dean explained his feelings as elegantly as he could.

"I have the urge to fuck you." He blinked, choosing his next words carefully. "**A lot**."

"Well this isn't good."

"You're telling me," Dean whined, his forehead scrunching at his discomfort. "I've never even been attracted to a man before! Well, except Patrick Swayze but I was young and he was attractive—"

"Dean," Cas cut in, "if we cannot subdue our desires, we will never be able to stop Famine."

"Yeah, well, it's not like I can exactly help myself!" Dean snapped, turning away and feeling an uncomfortable shift from his member.

Neither man said anything for a minute. Dean was mostly embarrassed and kept looking out the window while Cas didn't know what to make of the situation. He debated over several things (including whether to leave to get another hamburger) but decided to try and handle the situation.

"If you were to fuck me, do you think you would be able to focus afterward on the situation?" Cas asked, trying to reasonable. Dean gave him a surprised look, thought over it briefly and nodded. "Okay then."

Cas all but lunged forward to reach Dean and grip his neck. Dean, however, jerked backward and out of his reach.

"NO, no!" he cried, swatting Cas' hands away. "Not in the car! It's not nearly as comfortable as you would think!"

Pulling away and sitting back in his proper seat, Cas adorned a confused expression and cocked his head to this side. "Then where?"

"Back at the hotel," he stated, and then paused. "Does this mean you're going to have sex with me?"

"I thought that was obvious."

"Then we're going to need supplies." Dean turned on the Impala, switching her into reverse.

Cas gave no reply. He instead retrieved another hamburger from his paper bag and began to eat as the city flew past him, noting that Dean ignored two red lights. Minutes later, they were parked outside of a building he was vaguely familiar with.

"Come on," Dean beckoned, moving to get out of the car. Cas followed wordlessly, unsure as to what Dean was planning.

Swiftly, Dean found the area that he was looking for and began to shuffle through the items. He was disappointed by the overall lack of merchandise.

"I do not think we will need condoms," Castiel commented, looking at the small shelf. "My vessel is male. I cannot procreate."

"That's not what I'm looking for," Dean replied, "We won't be needing "vaginal moisturizers" either. Ah, here we go!" He reached forward and pulled a package from the shelf. He fiddled with it before reading something printed along the front, using what Cas would describe as a broadcasting voice.

"Kissable sensations for the body. Refreshing strawberry for him. Decadent chocolate for her." He stopped to smirk at Cas only to find that Cas was staring at him strangely. Before Dean could ask what was wrong, Cas spoke up.

"I'm craving _meat_, Dean."

It didn't take long for the statement to set and when it did, Dean gulped and turned to put the product back on its hook. With a burning face and a warranted shift in his jeans, Dean moved along to the next set of stock.

"How about this KY Intense?" Dean asked, his voice a tad higher than before.

"What does it do?"

"It makes it better."

Cas knew Dean and Sam's behavior well enough to know what 'it' was and decided to go to his next question. "How does it work?"

Dean flipped the product over to read the directions on the back. "Arousal is at your fingertips – or his." He paused to chuckle. "During foreplay, gently massage a drop (2-4 pumps) onto your clitoris. Reapply as desired. Use externally. Approximately 20 applications." He gave a small shrug. "Sounds good to me."

There was a lack of verbal response and Dean looked up to see Cas bearing a deadpanned expression.

"I have a penis," Cas vocalized aggressively, gaining surprised looks from the few shoppers around them. Dean awkwardly noticed the two girls laughing into their hands at the end of the isle and the elderly couple that had taken to staring at them with scandalous expressions. Cas seemed content with his statement.

An odd noise erupted from Dean's throat and he thrust the item onto the shelf, grabbing the next thing that was there. It was a small, blue box.

"KY Intrigue," Dean began, his voice tight, "Premium intimacy lubricant. Highest quality, silicone technology, ultra-smooth, doesn't get sticky."

"The directions?" Cas demanded softly.

"Apply a dime sized drop to intimate areas to enhance special moments. Unscented." He gave a satisfied nod. "This one seems nice."

"Are we done then?"

"I suppose." Dean was about to pivot to leave the isle and head towards the cashier's stand when he noticed the elderly couple were pointing at them and whispering. Unable to help himself, Dean looked directly at them and said, "Yes, we're going to have sex. Do you have a problem with that?" The couple glared and began to retreat.

"No?" Dean hollered after them. "Didn't think so!" Sighing, he turned back to where Cas stood and said, "Come on, Cas, let's go."

"Can we get this as well?" Cas asked, ignoring Dean's last statement. He brandished the package and Dean cautiously took it from him.

"It's a His and Her package," Dean read, his eyebrows lifting. "Are you sure you're not offended?"

"I think it is meant for a giver and receiver type scenario," Cas tried to explain, unsure if his words were effective. "Yours and Mine; not His and Hers."

Dean looked at Cas and smiled softly, giving a small nod.

"Okay, Cas." Dean made a move to check out but suddenly gasped and exclaimed. "Let's hurry - I'm pitchin' a tent here!"

Dean rushed to the cash register, paid and the two quickly made their way back to the hotel that the boys had rented when they had arrived. Dean burst through the door like a madman only to stop short at the sight of Sam moving the couch back into place.

"Sam!" Dean called out surprised, having completely forgotten about his brother in the midst of his endeavor.

"Where were you guys!" Sam exclaimed, "I had to defeat Famine by myself!"

"Never mind that," Dean interrupted, "Why aren't you locked in the bathroom?"

"Kind of broke free," he admitted, looking guilty and shuffling his feet.

"Wait," Castiel muttered, gaining both of their attentions, "so Famine is dead?"

"Yeah," Sam replied with a nod.

"That would explain why I no longer desire beef." His gaze shifted to Dean.

"Oh, no," Dean began, voice incredulous. "We're doing this." He stepped further into the room to stand by the bed, throwing his keys at Sam (who deftly caught them) and placing the bag onto the mattress.

"Doing what?" Sam asked, "What's going on?"

"Sam," Dean began slowly, "I need you to go. Get out of this room, out of this hotel, this city – just _go_."

"Why?" Sam questioned, perplexed at his companion's behavior.

"_Because_—" Dean spat, pointing at the plastic bag, "I didn't buy all of this product for nothing!"

"B-but I defeated Famine," Sam repeated.

"I don't care," Dean barked, "I'm using this and you—" he turned violently and pointed at Cas "—are going to like it!"

As Dean turned to dig through the bag, Sam turned to look at Cas for guidance. Cas only stared back before saying monotonously, "I am strangely okay with this."

"Get out," Dean instructed levelly, dumping the contents of the bag onto the bed. Sam noticed the unmistakable purple and blue bottles.

"Dean—"

"You've got twelve seconds."

Sam was about to continue but when Dean's hands slid and began to fumble with his belt buckle, Sam knew that his brother wasn't joking.

Clamping his mouth shut, Sam stiffly left the room, keys in hand. He was already remembering which highway to take to get out of the state. Maybe he would go visit Bobby. Dean and Cas would catch up.

But it wouldn't be for a few days.


End file.
